No Frills. Not links. No Pics. Nada. Just the overview on this fall’s shows. Not the worst season of television, but most definitely NOT the best.
Here goes.
New shows I like enough to watch every week:
Pushing Daisies. (Great acting. The chick is quirky and funny. There are musical numbers and built in tension every week, just because of the premise)
Dirty Sexy Money. (Pilot was awesome. It is hit or miss. I have hopes for it. )
The Big Bang Theory (I know, I can’t believe it either but I find myself chuckling. I can see it getting really tired.)
Bionic Woman (But it is wearing out it’s welcome. The lead is terrible. The premise is interesting. It will probably go away and we won’t miss it)
Samantha Who? (I enjoy this in that classic 60’s wacky comedy with dumb premise way. Think The Girl With Something Extra or The Flying Nun)
Returning reality show that I am excited about:
The Amazing Race (It’s a perfect game. Perfectly presented. It deserves every award it wins)
Old Show I want to kick in the ass for wasting all that viewer currency:
Heroes. (Hiro is in the past but nothing in the present is affected? Peter doesn’t know his power….that’s the same story as last year. The end of the world??? Sylar wants to obtain powers?????? Is it the first season already?)
Pilot I enjoyed but can’t bring myself to watch any more episodes:
Chuck (I am tired of Beta males and I don’t want them saving the world anymore.)
Reaper (More Beta males. Neat premise. But I just don’t have the time to root for guys I have no respect for)
Shows I wish would gain their footing again because they have had great moments this season but are not, generally, up to par:
How I Met Your Mother (This has all the makings of a classic. They are stuck with Robin in the cast and she is a 3rd wheel. Get rid of her and get back to the story)
30 Rock (Someone at NBC tampered with this fucker. You can just feel it. The jokes don’t fly as fast or furious. It’s like they told them “Slow down for your audience. They shouldn’t have. It will kill the show)
Idiotic show I watch because the vanity card hooked me and I find myself laughing at least 3 times an episode:
Two and a half men. (Truly. Record every episode and watch the title card. If that doesn’t convince you that Chuck Lorre is funnier than the shows he creates, you are hopeless. After that, watch the shows. There are some funny bits in there.)
Programs that should embarrass the actors every time they cash the paycheck:
Cavemen (Holy crap.)
Carpoolers (Just crap)
Back to You (Expensive crap)
Are you Smarter than a 5th grader (Viewers should know better crap)
Shows I used to watch because my wife would watch them but now that I have a tv in the kitchen…..fuck that noise:
House (Weird illness of the week meets crochety super doc. Got it)
Grey’s Anatomy (Hot people have problems, too. Got it)
Medium (talking to ghosts can help you solve mysteries. Got it)
Ghost Whisperer (Talking to Ghosts can help them get to the light. Got it. Love Hewitt? What’s with the fake lashes and ugly sidekicks?)
Numbers (Understanding Math can help you solve murder. Got it)
Criminal Minds (I should watch this but I just can’t. I. just. can’t.)
America’s Next Top Model (America is filled with pretty vaginas. Got it.)
Desperate Housewives (Is this still on? How is this still in the top ten?????)
Shows I should watch because I was on them but they hold no interest for me because I have the attention span of a flea:
JourneyMan (My part was too small for me to watch the whole episode.)
Private Practice (My part was originally in Grey’s so I don’t have to feel bad)
CSI (My part was a few years ago and cut up weird)
CSI NY (I was asked to come back and reprise my part but I couldn’t)
Shows that I recognize as being good but I get the joke and it isn’t as funny the 30th time as people want you to believe (or STOP MAKING HOUR LONG EPISODES OF HALF HOUR SHOWS!)
The Office (One day, and that day WILL come, the world will realize that this show was nowhere near as funny as people think it is.)
Show I watch because I fully enjoy the Schadenfraude:
Deal or No Deal (For god’s sake, somebody explain math to these idiots. If you have 2 big numbers left and you MUST pick 2 or more cases, your game is over.)
Shows I am supposed to watch because everyone says it’s good
Friday Night Lights (Peter Berg. I hate Peter Berg. Long Story)
Everybody Hates Chris (The PR would have you believe that this show is funny. Ha! THAT’s funny!)
Aliens in America ( I saw five minutes. It looked cute. I forgot it was on)
Shows I could give or take. In other words not as good as ice cream but better than brussel sprouts
Survivor China (CHINA? Why not Survivor: Tupelo?)
My Name is Earl (You know, it’s funny when I see it. I don’t mind it. But then again, I don’t carea)
Smallville (I only want to see him do super stuff. I hate 90% of the storylines)
Ugly Betty (It’s a good show. I just never seem to get around to it)
List of shows that I will never see and am glad to say that about:
Gossip Girl
NCIS
The Singing Bee
Bones
The Unit
Cane
Kid Nation
Phenomenon
Life
Viva Laughlin
Vegas
Supernatural
Phenomenon
Scrubs
Without a Trace
Men in Trees
The Next Great American Band
Moonlight
Women’s Murder Club
CSI Miami
Extreme makeover: Home Edition
Cold Case
Shark
Dancing with the Stars
Rules of Engagement
(NO explanations necessary)
I always wanted to see House for Hugh Laurie, who I think is fucking brilliant, but I know he has to use an American accent in it and I never quite got around to it. His more brilliant partner, Stephen Fry, also has a tepid mainstream show in England called Kingdom, in which he plays a crime-solving solicitor, but he, at least, offsets that with his faux quiz show, QI, which is brilliant fucking telly.
Viva Laughlin is based on an astonishingly great British series called Blackpool, which was enough for me, thanks. Don’t need a version of it with Madchen Amick.
I don’t give a shit about The Office. Ricky Gervais said all that needed to be uttered about the topic, thanks.
I couldn’t agree with you more on Heroes. Mind you one of the new elements I could live without is the brother and sister storyline.