The Difference Between Democrats and Republicans made simple.

Republican: I want to talk to you about the differences between the parties but first you need to know: You’re an Asshole.

You: What?

R: You’re an asshole. We’ll get to the topic but first I need you to understand that you are an asshole and a moron. Got it?

You: Huh? Um…

R: Shut up. You’re stupid. When you understand that we can continue. Got it?

You: Yeah, I think…When you say, stupid…

R: Shut up, dick. Okay. Now that we’ve established that you’re an asshole we can have this converstaion.

___________________________

Democrat: I want to talk to you about the differences between the parties but first you need to know: You’re an Asshole.

You: What?

D: You have to understand, you’re an asshole. That’s okay. I can be an asshole too, sometimes. I understand.

You: You mean…

D: Yes. Right now I’m not the asshole, you are, but sometimes I am the asshole and I can empathize. In fact, let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that I AM being an asshole right now.

You: But you’re not?

D: You know what? I am. There. I said it. I’m not as much of an asshole as you but I am sort of being one right now and I get it. Okay? So, let’s talk about this. Together. Like a pair of stupid assholes.

You: Um….okay.

D: Oh, yeah. Vote for me? Please?

There you have it.