Emancipation and gratitude.

I debated about whether to write about this here.
Its not that I am ashamed, nor is it that I am fearful that people will think differently of me.
I definitely don’t want sympathy. I’ve had enough of that to fill Devil’s Punchbowl.
No, I just wanted to say something to commemorate a very important day in my life.
It means nothing to anyone else but it means a lot to me.
When I decided to leave a very destructive and decaying marriage it was a difficult decision to say the least. After all, I didn’t get married to get divorced. That wasn’t the initial plan. Plus, my ex-wife and I had a seriously ill daughter that I loved very much.
I won’t speak ill of my ex here, those that know me know what kind of person she was. To say we were a mismatch is an understatement. My father had just died and I needed some stability so I sought refuge in a woman whose behavior became more and more erratic and more violent. The rest of her family were…..difficult, to say the least.
Okay, enough of that.

On March 10th, 1998, I sat in a judge’s chambers while she reprimanded my ex-wife for incivility, threatened to send her to jail for contempt and, formally dissolved that marriage.
As luck would have it, on that very same day, a judge in another court some 25 miles away was to render a decision as to whether I could ever see my daughter again.
Obviously, I could. And Did.
Lizzie and I became father and daughter again. The next 8 years were special, to say the least. I wouldn’t have traded them for anything in the world. I miss her terribly but am thankful for that time.
So, you might excuse me while I dance for joy and shout to the heavens in thanks.
Thanks for, well, giving me the strength to get out.
Thanks to my mother who stood by my side.
Thanks to my brother who stood vigil the first time we almost lost Liz and made it so I could see her.
Thanks to Bob the Lawyer. Even though he said I “should give up. Men don’t win this kind of case”. He stuck to our guns and we persevered.
Thanks to Judge Kathi for seeing manipulation and greed when no one else would.
Thanks to the people who never believed I could do any of the things I was accused of.
Thanks to Sacred Fools for rescuing me when I needed a home.
Thanks to Zander for taking me in at a time when I was, indeed, nearly friendless.
Thanks to Michael Weiss for showing me that there can be salvation even for a non-believer.
Thanks to Rabbi Finley and Ohr Hatorah for Kaddish every week.
Thanks to all my agents and managers and casting directors who kept getting me work even though I was a basket case.
Thanks to Nancy, my therapist, without whom I could never love another woman without fear of reprisal.
Thanks to Liz for being the only kind of daughter I ever wanted and letting me be the father I wanted to be.
Thanks to Hennepin County Medical Center for saving my life.
Thanks to Haven Villa for being a true Haven.
Thanks to David and Iden and Todd and Gary and Deena and Mary and Andre and Doug and Jon and Damon and Scott and Pat and Crystal and anyone else who was part of my rebirth that was TBS.
Thanks to AK for believing that I could be the caretaker of her best friend’s heart.
Thanks to Beth for sharing her life with me.
Thanks to Raj Makkar for saving my life. Again.
Thanks to Huckleberry for being a girl’s best friend and a man’s best pain in the ass.
Thanks to Kristen for being there.
Thanks to Vinnie for giving a peace sign at exactly the right time.
Thanks to Chaim Beliak for believing that I could go on.
Thanks to Claudette for believing I could get it down on paper.

And, finally,

Thanks to Zoe for giving me another chance.

Thanks. And WOO-the fuck-HOO!